liL' PheONix*____

3 months isnt really that long right?

Sun, 09 Aug 2009 14:51:59 GMT

i am ever so longing to blabble abt stuff tht i used to blabble abt here... T_T huu need to

concentrate!

3 months to go!!!then you'll have all the time in the world to blabble abt every single thing u can blabble on until you run out things to blabble about! :)
pray i stay strong!

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love them to bits

Fri, 12 Jun 2009 17:18:15 GMT

3 insignificant facts

-i am hungry and its 12.19 in the morning [somebody commented today tht i look a bit chubbier- hahah, nih mengikot si faheem kot; like kakak like adik ^^]

-i've got class tomorrow :s [pray tht i dont doze off during class]

-i actually hv no specific topic to write abt

so there.. huu this is so sad

ok, so lets do an update on faheem :) my little sunshine [ala2 teletubbies gitu]

he now weighs 8 kg and my arms get the shakes after carrying him around for a prolongued period of time [try carrying a 5kg rice bag around, its somewhat like tht]. he's supposed to be able to roll over by now but he cant coz the problem is he hates to lie down. the only time he lies down is when he's sleeping :D so due to that fact, he seldom gets the chance to even try n roll over. he can sit though, but needs to be surrounded (360 degrees) by pillows coz he's still not that stable... many small accidents hv occured where he fell flat on his back, fell sideways on his face n fell forwards as well.. hoho poor adek..what else.. yeah, he's now starting to eat semi solid food... biscuit, nestum n etc. but we're all actually worried abt allowing him to eat those kind of food coz who knows how much weight he'll put on..

so among my holiday activites were babysitting :) heheh... so.. dh bole jd kakak mithali?

err... maybe kene cuti 10 minggu br boley terrer kot

but i certainly know tht my arm muscles hv at least expanded after working out with carrying adek around jusco :P

seriously i dont know how my mom copes with looking after him

n mlm2 adek ske jd batman gak, kjap bangun kjap tdo... before this when my mom was during her pantang, cm okeyla coz eventhough she has to stay up at night caring for faheem, in the morning slalu they'd qadha' tido bersama2, so comel... but now she has to work during the day but adek still wakes up during the middle of the night [infact, i think he's most hyperactive during night :)]

aku yg cukup tdo pon boley tersengguk2 dlm kelas T_T

kind of amazed at her strength :)

"And We have commanded man to be good towards parents; his mother bore him with hardship, and delivered him with hardship; and carrying him and weaning him is for thirty months; until when he * reached maturity and became forty years of age, he said, �My Lord! Inspire me to be thankful for the favours you bestowed upon me and my parents, and that I may perform the deeds pleasing to You"

having a little brother when you're older allows you to actually see for yourself how much u burden your parents when u were a helpless little baby! ur mom has to stay up half the night, put up with the wailing n screaming, n care for ur every need (from feeding to cleaning) kind of like parasite la pulak.. they get nothing in return from us, other thn exhaustion :)

that kinds of explain why it is totally inappropate for us to even say anything showing dislike as stated in the quran... mcm kcg lupekn kulit.. imagine if our parents didnt care for us like they did, we must be voiceless (sbb xde org nk lyn bile melalak kuat2 :D), really skinny (sbb x cukup zat besi, x dpt makan) and etc.

so once we're all grown up like now (heheh, kire grown up jgak ah neykan) dont get put off too quickly if ur parents do something tht's against ur liking... just remember how much patient they were when looking after you when you were small n screaming :D

"may adek grow up to be a soleh child ;) who'll look after umi n abah n also her sister"

n may her sister grow up to be the same too :)

fly away home

Sat, 06 Jun 2009 05:35:57 GMT

the school holiday is passing by fast :S

distract me please

Sat, 30 May 2009 18:42:18 GMT

need a distraction, real bad...

T_T

im not sure whether wht im gonna spill out is actually appropriate or not...

either way, it just torture, kay?
[haha, sorry for being emo, im a girl ok? it in my job description]

ok, so the truth is, i've not really gotten over the debate finals back in april... [trying my best not to type out the real competition name- god i do not want ppl finding this through search engines]

i know people have been saying tht i should be grateful tht we made it through to the finals [even though didnt win it] but wht im stressed out abt isnt really on the fact tht we didnt win, but bcoz i felt tht i sucked :) i dont care (99% of my heart-lah ;P) tht we didnt win, but im a bit dissapointed tht we didnt perform tht well... [to be honest, OVERWHELMINGly dissapointed] eventhough there were no direct as in straight in the face criticism from others commenting tht we sucked, i know tht i actually did ****...

T_T arr.... its soo complicated lah, what is the problem with people huh? whether you win or you lose, things are still complicated... [when u lose, ppl say u deserve it coz u suck, but once u start winning, ppl suddenly say tht u actually dont deserve it coz u suck- durh, mr speaker u r contradicting your own points] :) i know tht lots of ppl said tht we sucked, and sadly [or shld i put it 'sombrely' to make it more dramatic like dan does :P] deep down i definitely agree with them, mr speaker...

sometimes, it reaches to the extent tht i get these 'debate attacks' [heheh, tht's wht i've been calling 'em] images of the final debate suddenly overflows my head then i start talking to myself, adding new points- the ones tht i shouldve said during the real finals... its kind of like epilepsy, coz its sudden n sometimes occurs at unappropriate times, but instead of the body, it really hurts the emotions.. haha.. call me crazy, but wait till you try and feel wht its like...

i know tht we couldve done much much better, and tht's wht is bothering me so much- the fact tht we didnt.. sometimes it actually feels like uve scribbled charcoal over your school's dignity... lalalaa..... maybe this is the effect of limelight, it blurs your logic and rationality, paralysing ur ability to think straight and see the issues clearly... now i undestand why celebrities do such insane things....

*i am now in a state of ____________ tht i do not know how to react*

God, give me the strength to move on... :)

sometimes it feels like im already over it, but then the debate attacks come and tht odd and unpleasant feeling comes again... and I had to be so thick tht i searched in google of comments from other school kids abt us on their blogs [ive been hearing from amnah, fahna n others- decided to see for myself] and lets just say, it is really ********* tht you wanna chew their ear off but then you also wanna admit tht they're kind of right :S

to dalila, amnah n athira,
if u guys r reading this, dont get me wrong k, this isnt a blaming process or summit, it just me with my stupid self-conflict issue tht i myself created into a mountain when its just a molehill...
fyi, this is something tht i am really good at, creating non-exisiting problem tht seem reaally big
...........................................

referring back to the first sentence:
that is why i need a distraction

:)

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

so i took a colour test [which kinds of analyses ur personality]
hoho, the results:

some of the statements are just simply bizzarre and hilarious, but some also hit me right in the head... i just cant stand the charm part n the hectic intensity bit.. ^^ imagine me, trying to charm everyone by doing this every time i meet someone:

haha, better start practicing from now :P

sorry if this entry is really long with lots of images
and for those who just cant make sense of any of it,
sorry too...
just think of it as a hormone imbalance reaction tht a teenage gets when she hasn't poured her heart out for a long time
to those who do understand the main issues higlighted in this entry[haha, formal habess]]
try ur best not to laugh coz im still mourning over something tht is like ages ago

im a sentimental person, remember?

yours faithfully,
the charming but extravagantly sentimental leader of the opp

grinning from ear to ear

Sat, 30 May 2009 03:55:57 GMT

finally back on the net :D

sorry deh, haven't been able to access the net for a loooo x 10^9 ng time (haha, hanye org yg terel mod maths yg fhm- standard form lerh)

im a bit outdated, so td did a bit of catching up, read other ppl's bloggy.. :D
and now im feeling like this:

huhu, seriously.

i've just realised tht i've been through a lot this year...
some :)

some :|

and I pray to God tht the things i've been through doesn't just leave me with memories and good feelings, but also help me to change into a better person as a whole ^^

p/s: its so hard lah being a sentimental person, you get too consumed with ur memories :) ngee..

the maybe-narcoleptic-me

Sat, 14 Feb 2009 02:13:46 GMT

Question:How can i prevent sleepiness?I am a college student and I usually feel sleepy during class hours. can you please give me ways on how to prevent it? well I sleep at night at around 10 and rise at 5. thank you!

Answer: Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise. Also, an apple in the morning would wake you up faster than caffeine. It's proven to be true!!

http://www.answer-health.com/qs/gh/96697.html

Narcolepsy - from the Basics to Advanced Information

Narcoleptics, no matter how much they sleep, continue to experience a irresistible need to sleep. People with narcolepsy can fall asleep while at work, talking, and driving a car for example. These "sleep attacks" can last from 30 seconds to more than 30 minutes. They may also experience periods of cataplexy (loss of muscle tone) ranging from a slight buckling at the knees to a complete, "rag doll" limpness throughout the body.

Narcolepsy is a chronic disorder affecting the brain where regulation of sleep and wakefulness take place. Narcolepsy can be thought of as an intrusion of dreaming sleep (REM) into the waking state.

The prevalence of narcolepsy has been calculated at about 0.03% of the general population. Its onset can occur at any time throughout life, but its peek onset is during the teen years. Narcolepsy has been found to be hereditary along with some environmental factors.

Symptoms

Excessive sleepiness.
Temporary decrease or loss of muscle control, especially when getting excited.
Vivid dream-like images when drifting off to sleep or waking up.
Waking up unable to move or talk for a brief time.

Simple Test for Narcolepsy:

Do you feel like you could sleep for days and still wake up sleepy?/definitely
Do you ever collapse or feel weak when laughing?/err, never tried to notice
Do you ever collapse or feel weak when angry?/haha, nope
Are you afraid you may fall asleep while swimming?/.................
Are you afraid you may fall asleep while taking a bath?/im still not to tht extent
Did one of your parents or close relatives have the "sleeping sickness"?/not tht i know of

Narcolepsy in Depth

Narcolepsy is a disabling disorder of sleep regulation that affects the control of sleep and wakefulness. It may be described as an intrusion of the dream sleep (called REM or rapid eye movement) into the waking state. Symptoms generally begin between the ages of 15 and 30. The four classic symptoms of the disorder are excessive daytime sleepiness; cataplexy (sudden, brief episodes of muscle weakness or paralysis brought on by strong emotions such as laughter, anger, surprise or anticipation); sleep paralysis (paralysis upon falling asleep or waking up); and hypnagogic hallucinations (vivid dreamlike images that occur at sleep onset). Disturbed nighttime sleep, including tossing and turning in bed, leg jerks, nightmares, and frequent awakenings, may also occur. The development, number and severity of symptoms vary widely among individuals with the disorder. There appears to be an important genetic component to the disorder as well.

Excessive sleepiness is usually the first symptom of narcolepsy. Patients with the disorder experience irresistible sleep attacks, throughout the day, which can last for 30 seconds to more than 30 minutes, regardless of the amount or quality of prior nighttime sleep. These attacks result in episodes of sleep at work and social events, while eating, talking and driving, and in other similarly inappropriate occasions. Although narcolepsy is not a rare disorder, it is often misdiagnosed or diagnosed only years after symptoms first appear. Early diagnosis and treatment, however, are important to the physical and mental well-being of the affected individual.

TREATMENT: There is no cure for narcolepsy; however, the symptoms can be controlled with behavioral and medical therapy. The excessive daytime sleepiness may be treated with stimulant drugs, while cataplexy and other REM-sleep symptoms may be treated with antidepressant medications. At best, medications will reduce the symptoms, but will not alleviate them entirely. Also, some medications may have side effects. Basic lifestyle adjustments such as keeping a good sleep schedule, improving diet, increasing exercise and avoiding "exciting" situations may also help to reduce the effects of excessive daytime sleepiness and cataplexy.

PROGNOSIS: Although narcolepsy is a life-long condition, most individuals with the disorder enjoy a near-normal lifestyle with adequate medication and support from teachers, employers, and families. If not properly diagnosed and treated, narcolepsy may have a devastating impact on the life of the affected individual, causing social, psychological, and financial difficulties.

http://www.sleepnet.com/narcolepsy.html

harhar... i dont believe tht im a narcoleptic.. am i? hehe

so i took the sleeping test:

Sleep Test Results

This test may help you recognize and detect symptoms of sleep disorders. The test is intended as a general source of educational information and does not contain medical advice. It should not be used for diagnosis or treatment. Getting an evaluation by your own personal physician is the best way to determine if you have a sleep/wake disorder.

Your Sleep Test Results

You show symptoms of narcolepsy, a life-long disorder characterized by uncontrollable sleep attacks during normal waking hours.

T_T tests dont mean anything, right??

anyhow, im becoming more n more notorious bcoz of this thing (duh) :S - its not the kind of mencapap tht i'd prefer though ^^

tralala... help mee....

[my mom says maybe im influenced by adek, babies are supposed to sleep up to 20 hours a say right? maybe mase kecik i didnt get those 20 hours kot... so sesi mengqadha' has just started.. haha, lol..]

im imagining in class, while the teacher is teaching, and suddenly he/she catches me showing symptoms of taking a nap [haha - eyes droopy, nodding head, fluttering eyelids n etc.]. is it appropiate to say "sorryla teacher, but I hv narcolepsy" ?

daa, definitely no
so narcoleptic or not, its not an excuse, kay?

[im feeling sleepy just thinking abt it ><]

butterflies in my tummy

Sun, 11 Jan 2009 10:06:21 GMT

"Boycott large US corporate brands - the US government gives Israel a staggering $2-$3 Billion Dollars a Year, or $6-$8 Million Dollars a Day"

O_O thats a lot

and read this message someone wrote: "you can't help palestine, israel owns the land and they don't realize it after 50 years...they can go settle somewhere in Africa"

?
i cant believe a dimwit like this exists in this world...

[all quotes snatched from yahoo answers]

so ppl, you know what to do... it may be hard to alter our lifestyle, but i imagine the palestinians are now going through a much much more harder time thn any of us can go through

-------------------------------

i wont be updating at all for some time ><

hey thee boring ppl

Fri, 26 Dec 2008 07:51:01 GMT

i was surfing random sites when i stumbled upon this:
a wakeupcall for everyone!

"How many can't imagine life without a TV, a computer, a DVD player, or a PlayStation? Those boring people who have no imagination � they have forgotten how to live their own lives!"

yup2, so true...
sometimes i think im enslaved by the tv
T_T thou art so pathetique...

[hopefully after this sunday tht wont happen no more ;)]

*just added, 5/1.09*
another advise tht hit me right in the face =S

"Siapakah orang yang sibuk?
Orang yang sibuk adalah orang yang tidak mengambil berat akan waktu solatnya seolah-olah ia mempunyai kerajaan seperti kerajaan Nabi Sulaiman a. s

Siapakah orang yang manis senyumannya?
Orang yang mempunyai senyuman yang manis adalah orang yang ditimpa musibah lalu dia kata "Inna lillahi wainna illaihi rajiuun. " Lalu sambil berkata,"Ya Rabbi Aku redha dengan ketentuanMu ini", sambil mengukir senyuman.

Siapakah orang yang kaya?
Orang yang kaya adalah orang yang bersyukur dengan apa yang ada dan tidak lupa akan kenikmatan dunia yang sementara ini.

Siapakah orang yang miskin?
Orang yang miskin adalah orang tidak puas dengan nikmat yang ada sentiasa menumpuk-numpukkan harta.

lovesick

Wed, 24 Dec 2008 12:52:50 GMT

adek got admitted to the hospital again
............
went to visit him in the afternoon but sadly non-parents aren't allowed to enter the nursery.. T_T [its not like im gonna kidnap someone else's baby... *sighs*] so just had to stay outside, trying really hard to catch a glimpse of him but only could see blue light from the photo therapy machine thingy...
adek, please get better soon...
im kindof fed-up with the doctors coz everytime he's discharged they'd say:
"oh there's still traces of jaundice, but he'll be alright"
then after sometime he'll end up back in the hospital again with a jaundice level no lower than before he was admitted to the hospital last time....

but come to think of it, the doctor has no power at all to make him better. the doctor isnt a supernatural being born with healing powers, for goodness sake...[huww reminds me of xmen, mutants with super powers ^^] they're just ordinary people who spent countless years in university memorising books involving the human body and what can possibly go wrong with it.... so the treatments they give are just based on what the book says... the outcome itself can't be determined. because in reality, life doesnt follow everything the book says as it is unpredictable... [in fact, if everything in life was to go according to wht the book says, umi giving birth to adek is almost out of the ordinary]

life wont go according to plan, coz as imperfect beings, our plans will always have flaws... if life did go as we'd like it to be, everything would be haywire o_O

inner self : cheer up la, its not like they're keeping him in the hospital so they can torture him or summit... they're giving him treatment so he can be healthy as normal.. that's better than locking him up at home just so you can adore his cute little face while the truth is he's really in need of some medical attention... hu.. selfish you!

selfish me: adek, come home!!! i miss your baby smell [haha, freaky sister]

parents: is it possible if we rent that phototherapy machine thing so adik can just receive his treatment at home?
dad: why dont we just buy it? approx. how much eh does it cost?
freaky sister: *astounded look*
mom: not worth it la, what's gonna happen to it after we've finished using the machine?
let's just rent it...
not freaky anymore but freaked out sister: ???

*last night*
mom: i just realised tht when adek's not here, i've nothing else to do... im bored...

[random ramblings from ppl who reaally miss adek... see what lovesick does to you?]

nemo chronicles iiii

Sun, 21 Dec 2008 14:13:02 GMT

hahah, ok so i dont know the roman number for 4, just live with it, can you? [if ur wondering why im using these titles, im influenced by 'terminator:the sarah connor chronicles'- looks just soo cool] oh yeah, to you tag loving ppl who's tagged me, sorry.. not up to doing it...

------------

tomorrow : new beginning

more steps to be taken
more lessons to be learnt
more experience to go through
more knowledge to be dicovered, understood and memorised!
more maturity to be built (hopefully)
more mistakes to be done(so tht i cn learn from 'em-mistakes are the best teachers u knoe)
and many more of the 'more __ to___' ;)

(fahna! pinjam pic kjap..^^)

and God, you know that ive lots of things i want to change but none can be done without help, strength and guidance from you

may tomorrow be a better day~
insya-Allah